It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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