Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
