and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
