And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
