i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
