i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
