There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm always down for nudity.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
