dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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