it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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