Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
