So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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