Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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