is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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