I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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