Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
