Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
