oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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