two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
