so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
