K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
