someone threw a dead crab at me
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Randomize
