So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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