Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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