Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
