btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
