You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize