And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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