So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sponge bath it is.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
