I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
