Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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