I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
