if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize