The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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