Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
