The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
