when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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