Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
