is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize