census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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