Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
