I didn't shave. On purpose
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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