im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
