college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize