yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
