saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
