I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize