God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Randomize