Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
