So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
