Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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