your thong is hanging out like whoa
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This baby is an asshole
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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