I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
