Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
