So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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