Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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