I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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