i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
