And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
