worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize