You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
