Do you still have your period?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
